Hey Williamsport, Where's the Laughs?
I give up. At 4am I called it quits. I can’t sleep tonight. What’s the best thing to do in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep … raid the refrigerator naturally. To my delight I found one sweet, savory mango shake someone had obviously saved for the morning. I can’t not take one of my top 3 favorite non-alcoholic drinks at 4am. Every drop was worth the impending doom I’ll face from one unhappy family member. But hey Williamsport, we’ve got more pressing matters than the wrath I’ll face tomorrow (today? morning? whatever). Yes, that’s right. See here Williamsport, you’ve become like the great technology company Apple. For a while there, we all thought it was over. Downtown was in a permanent coma. But using the Marcellus Shale as your iPod, you’ve managed to resurrect everything about you and have now become a true center of arts and entertainment in Central PA. In the last few years, you’ve managed to bring in Best Buy, Target, Starbucks, Panera, and now Kohls. Just like Apple, everybody wants in. First Friday is more lively than ever before. Everywhere I go, I hear about how downtown is really evolving into a special mecca and people are genuinely excited for the future of our town.
So this is where I must ask you Williamsport … where’s the laughs? All I want to do is sip on my favorite summer drink (Blue Moon of course) and enjoy a few laughs with friends. Is that really too much? You can bring all of these major companies, save downtown from the dead, and develop a fantastic arts and music scene but we can’t have a single comedian / comedy club? I get constant facebook notifications about a music or art show at a different venue every week, but my friends and I have yet to hear about a local comedy show. Karaoke night but no amateur comedy nights. I mean come on Williamsport, there’s a man from Philadelphia who resides here now that runs a trivia night just about everywhere. I mean for God’s sake, quizzo is even at Crosscutter games and on the Hiawatha. I find it absolutely ridiculous that no amateur comedy nights are planned in the area, my dear friend Williamsport. Are there 0 comedians or venues just not open to the idea? It’s gotta be the former, cause any business-savy venue would at least give it a try once right? Maybe not. Venues, what are your concerns? Are you afraid of people being offended? Bring some Bill Cosby type friendly comedians then or force people to sign a freaking waiver, I don’t care. I’m desperate. Bars have the most to gain from this, but there’s even a huge opening for non bars here. People that are under 21 are always complaining about not having anything to do here. This is especially true now since the Cell Block took away 18+ nights. Now comedians, what’s your deal? Where are you guys hiding? There’s gotta be one amateur comedian out there. I don’t care if you suck, like I said, I’m desperate. I promise I’ll be right there and be your biggest fan even if you bomb worse than “The Situation” at the Comedy Central Roast.
At this point you may be thinking, “Hey, if you want comedy here so bad, why don’t you do it?” That’s a pretty legit question and honestly I’ve thought about it. I feel like I would be good at stand-up. I also feel like I’d be a good astronaut, nascar driver, and NBA team manager (trade Lebron for Dwight). Would I really be good at these things? Probably … not. Plus I don’t have the guts. Cut me a break, I’ve already put my photography all over downtown, what more do you want from me? Venues and future shitty comedians, please make this happen. Do it for her, our beloved Williamsport.
In Summary:
Comedians: Man up.
Venues: Man up.
Bartenders: Blue Moons always come with an orange. No questions asked.
Mystery family member: Sorry.
